


what is a man but a piece of flesh?

by caedes



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool (Movieverse), Deadpool - All Media Types, Venom (Comics), Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Bisexual Eddie Brock, Blood and Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Cheesy Lines, Depression, Eddie Brock Loves Venom Symbiote, Eddie Brock Needs A Hug, Eddie’s Doctor Boyfriend, Established Eddie Brock/Venom Symbiote, Human Disaster Eddie Brock, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kissing, Lots of character death, M/M, Miscommunication, Multi, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Wade Wilson, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Switch Wade Wilson, Tinder, Venom eats people, Wade Wilson Breaking the Fourth Wall, Wade Wilson Kills Bad People, Wade Wilson Needs A Hug, Why are they so awkward, its Wade Wilson, tinder dates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:34:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29080182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caedes/pseuds/caedes
Summary: Eddie’s gotten used to seeing three people when he dies. Or rather, when he visits Death.Wade’s gotten used to a slightly more crowded purgatory. But his nights of moonlighting as a almost-stranger’s unwanted moral support isn’t helping his morale.
Relationships: Dan Lewis/Anne Weying (background), Eddie Brock/Venom Symbiote, Eddie Brock/Venom Symbiote/Wade Wilson, Eddie Brock/Wade Wilson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37





	1. A Brush With Death

The idea first came to him as all good ones do: drunk. It’d been a particularly shitty night, and the temptation was overwhelming. He jumped. Venom caught on almost immediately, but by then it was too late. Eddie’s head had hit the pavement, and everything went black.

He was freezing when he woke up, silence roaring in his head as he stood on solid ground he couldn’t quite see. A woman stood nearby, Eddie tentatively inching closer to her. He tried to clear his throat, choking instead.  
“Am I dead?” He managed, the woman finally turning to face him. Eddie stumbled back in panic as he looked at the rotted corpse in front of him, it’s skull locked in a decaying smile.   
  
“Yes.” Death purred, moving closer to observe him more carefully. “You are…dead enough.” Eddie blinked at that, unable to step backwards.

“I-I’m here for-“

“Your sister.” Death finished for him, tilting her head. “Mary.” She placed a cold, rotted hand on his cheek, the other one waving slightly. A room became more visible. Death pulling her hand away to lead Eddie over. Eddie let out a soft gasp as his sister turned towards him, offering him a brilliant smile.

“Hey Ed.”

Eddie couldn’t manage a response, surging forward to hug her, touch her, anything. His hand hit a wall of some sort, Mary moving closer to place hers on the other side.

“You’re alive.” She said, beaming again. Eddie’s smile faltered.

“Is that why I can’t touch you?” He asked, turning to Death. She was silent for a moment, jaw creaking with disuse.

“It is not your time.” She offered Eddie, Mary’s form flickering slightly.

“No!” Eddie insisted, eyes trained firmly on Mary’s face. “I want to stay.”

“You can’t.” She replied simply, Eddie falling backwards as the room disappeared. “Do not come back, Eddie Brock. This place is not for the living.” Eddie opened his mouth to protest, unable to speak as the darkness faded to light. His head was ringing, and blood tinged the pavement where he had hit it.

 **“Eddie.”** A voice whispered in his head, so full of relief it nearly hurt. **“Saved you.”**  
Eddie let out a low groan at Venom’s voice.

“I wasn’t ready.” He grumbled, throat raw. “I needed more time.”

Wade wasn’t used to seeing anyone other than Death. The Vanessa…situation was different. She wasn’t real, Death could be a bitch, and he’d moved on. Kinda. But when Death promised a good (or at least interesting) time, who was he to say no? That’s how he’d ended up here, skin painfully exposed to a handsome, disgusting, falling apart man who barely even registered him. Great. Just like high school. Wade was curious though, and yeah, a little jealous if he was being honest. Death had always made this _their_ thing, chilling at the end of existence. Now some scruffy asshole was interrupting it. Death shot him a knowing smile. She was right of course. Wade was interested.

“Where’s Mary?” The other man demanded, Wade flinching slightly.

“Dude, seriously?” It slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself. “You… _do_ know no one else can do this, right? Don’t piss her off.” The man scowled at him, turning back to Death.  
She ignored him in favor of Wade.

“I do not need your defenses, Wade Wilson. Were you not the same way? Eddie must learn patience, like you have.”  
Oh boy was Wade glad the mask hid the flush that covered his face. Wait, fuck. He was dead. No mask. Wade glared at Death, ignoring the warning he’d just given the other man.

“That’s different.” He settled on, crossing his arms. “Whatever this dumbass is doing is different.”

“Hey, this _dumbass_ is right here.” Eddie interjected, glaring at the other man. Wade. Whatever. “ _And_ he can hear you.”

“I know.” Wade retorted, his head feeling lighter and lighter. Time’s up. That probably meant the other guy was about to go to. The distressed look on his face almost confirmed it. Wade grinned at him, offering a little mock salute as they drifted in and out of existence. The other man, _Eddie_ , scowled, flipping Wade off before they were both ripped away by reality.

Wade’s head hurt when he woke up. Which, yeah, that was pretty normal. But hey, what a night! A date with Death and some other guy. Score! He glanced around for his gun, pressing a soft kiss to her barrel before carefully putting her away. Gun safety.  
But, oh man, _Eddie._ ...At least that’s what Wade thought his name was. How did a guy like that end up in a place with _Wade?_ If he thought about it any longer, the headache would last.

Eddie woke up to Venom’s anxious mutterings and fussing. He groaned, squinting up at the alien.

 **“Hello, Eddie.”** Venom whispered, brushing hair off his face. **“Shaved while you were gone. Ate rats. How was trip?”**

“A dud. It didn’t work out.” He clarified, catching Venom’s confused look. “There was someone else there. Some guy.” Some guy covered in scars. For a moment, Eddie had thought he was a demon, coming to bring him to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first published fanfiction!! woo!! let me know what you think!


	2. Swiping Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie and Deadpool match on Tinder. Miscommunication and chaos ensue.

Wade was bored out of his mind. Almost bored enough to open up Tinder. Might as well get Eddie out of his head. Wannabe dead guys were no fun.  
He had only swiped aimlessly for about five minutes when, well, fuck. This was a shitty fanfic.  
Wade squinted down at the profile for Eddie Brock, 32, only a few miles away in Queens.  
Wade didn’t just swipe right, he super-liked. Score two for scruffy journalists.

Eddie barely ever checked Tinder. His profile was pretty bare bones, almost fake looking to anyone unfamiliar with his social styles. But maybe…  
It was stupid, really, how lonely he was.  
He glanced down at the screen, hardly paying attention as he swiped until he got to a picture of some idiot in a mask. “Deadpool” looked like he’d been ripped off at Party City. He looked like he’d at least be an interesting time.  
Eddie swiped right, and the little notification that the other guy had super liked him popped up on screen, tempting a little burst of dopamine.
    
    
        EB: What’s with the mask? 

Eddie typed, grinning to himself.  
He wasn’t expecting an immediate response.
    
    
        DP: u like it b? ;) adds mystery.

Eddie rolled his eyes at that one.
    
    
        EB: I mean, I’d prefer a face, but whatever. 
    
    
        DP: no can do babe :( rlly dont want u vomiting b4 we even go out. 
    
    
        EB: What makes you think you have a date? 
    
    
        DP: u swiped right ;) 

Eddie had to admit he had a point there.
    
    
        EB: You drink coffee? There’s a pretty good Starbucks a few blocks from me.
    
    
    
        DP: ooh forward :0 trying to get me close 2 ur place? ;) that’s a yes btw also ur in queens so Broadway 1?
    
    
      
        EB: Yeah, that works. 3?
      
    
    
    
        DP: pm? c u there ;)

Even if it went horribly, Venom would get a meal. Eddie reasoned with himself. And that alone was worth going.

Wade wiped down the suit with baby wipes, only a little grossed out at how much dirt came off. Whatever. If it was a little grimy, dead boy could deal.  
He pulled another wipe out to give it one last good clean.

Eddie, on the other hand, had a very excited Venom to manage. The kind of Venom who refused to leave the house unless they were at least wearing a shirt that buttoned. Whatever.  
If he slicked his hair back a little, it was nobody’s business.  
They were ten minutes early, mostly to scope out the best booth. Eddie toyed with his slice of pumpkin bread, feeding it to Venom under the table. The bell on the door jingled and Eddie jerked his head up for what was probably the twelfth time in as many minutes.  
Deadpool glanced around before the eyes of his mask settled on Eddie. It moved by the mouth, which Eddie was going to take as a smile.  
Eddie awkwardly waved him over.

“Hey! Deadpool, right?”  
  
Deadpool let out a eager nod, zipping over to eagerly shake Eddie’s outstretched hand. Then he kissed it. Gross. Eddie swiftly pulled his hand back, even though only leather had touched it.  
  
“You’re buying coffee.” He informed Deadpool. “Especially if you’re going to do that.”

“Sounds good.” Deadpool murmured, a grin hiding in his voice. Eddie blushed, sliding back into his seat.

“Caramel Macchiato, cold.”  
Deadpool offered him a salute, punching in the order on his phone.  
“We’re in Starbucks.” Eddie reminded him.

“Yeah, but then I’d have to walk all the way over there.” Deadpool said, the mask going down in a pout. His legs kicked under the table like a child, Venom giving up on hiding there and slipping back under Eddie’s skin.

“Fair enough.” Eddie picked at a spot under the table. “So uh, what do you like to do?”  
Deadpool waved him off.

“Oh y’know, watch rom coms, eat a shit ton of food, piss off every hero in the city. Everyday kinda stuff.” He winked.

“Every single hero? Are you trying to impress me?” Eddie asked, easily slipping into the flirting.

“Depends, is it working?” Deadpool asked, standing up as his name was called. “Don’t get up.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” Eddie assured him, leaning back against his seat. He watched Deadpool stuff a roll of bills in the top jar before skipping back over with the drinks.

“What’s your real name?” Eddie asked, reaching for his drink. Deadpool pulled it out of his reach.

“Ah Ah. That’s not a very nice thing to ask, Eddie.” Eddie rolled his eyes at his playful tone, smiling as Deadpool relinquished the caramel macchiato.

“Thanks for the drink.”

“C’mon, not even an apology?” Deadpool teased, swirling his own straw around. He didn’t take a sip. He’d have to remove his mask for that.

“Sorry,” Eddie compromised, leaning forward to look Deadpool in the mask-eyes. “You gonna take that off?”

“Absolutely not.” Deadpool promised, giving Eddie another salute.

“How am I supposed to know if you’re an alien under there then?” Eddie asked, pouting.

“Is that common for you?” Deadpool leaned in with a grin. “Weekly occurrence?”  
Eddie blushed. It was, but that wasn’t Deadpool’s business. Why did he bring up aliens again?

“Earth to Eddie.” Deadpool sang, waving a gloved hand in front of his face. “Oh man, now I’ve distracted you with mysteries of the universe.”

“Aliens aren’t a mystery.” Eddie reminded him.

“That’s true.”

Eddie sucked down half of his coffee before standing up, motioning for Deadpool to follow him.  
“C’mon. Lets go do something.”

“Second date already?” Deadpool asked, grabbing his own drink. He turned away from Eddie to gulp down some of it as soon as they got outside. Eddie couldn’t help but feel a little insulted.

“Do you have that condition where like you’re so handsome that if people look at you they die?” 

Deadpool snorted.

“Exact opposite of that. I’m so fuckin ugly that when people look at me they might as well drop dead.”

Eddie blinked at that, turning down a shortcut.  
“Well that’s a lot to unpack.” He acknowledged. “I seriously doubt it’s that bad.”

“Oh it’s bad, babe. So bad you’ll be glad I didn’t show you. Might make all that coffee come back up.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Just drink your drink.”

“Fine. But no peaking.” Deadpool told him, wagging his finger. Eddie closed his eyes until he could hear DP drinking. He peeked, only getting a little glimpse of scarred skin, like from a burn. Deadpool stopped, turning to look at Eddie.

“Dude, there was one rule.” Deadpool informed him, Eddie playing dumb.

“Huh?”

“I can tell you’re peeking.” He was much closer now. Venom sat at the ready as Eddie tensed up, his breath hitching. “Didn’t I tell you not to peek?” Deadpool asked, drink forgotten on the ground as he boxed Eddie in against the wall.  
Yeah, that did it for Eddie. He opened his eyes fully, staring Deadpool’s mask down. A quick glance at his mouth confirmed it. Scarring.  
  
“It’s not awful.” Eddie told him. “I’m not gonna vomit or whatever.”

“Aren’t you gonna apologize?” Deadpool asked, his stare hardening as he held Eddie there.

“Yeah,” Eddie breathed, pressing his lips to Deadpool’s. “You taste like coffee.” He mumbled, pulling Deadpool’s surprised expression closer.  
Deadpool pulled away.

“What are you doing?” He asked, mouth turned in a frown.

“…Kissing you?”

“Why?”

“Uh…I thought that’s where this was going,” Eddie said, confused. “Why else pin me to a wall?” It was a good question. Fuck. Wade blanked out on an answer, tugging his mask down instead and running away.   
  
“Seriously?” Eddie called out after him. “What the hell?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don’t kiss people you’ve just met, you don’t know where they’ve been. but if they’re hot does it really matter? mysteries of the universe...
> 
> also I spent hours formatting this and I still freaking hate it


	3. Jump and Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a rooftop heart to heart

That’s how Wade ended up fucking smitten; Eddie’s Tinder saying he was less than a mile away, and Wade being bored as shit and feeling guilty.  
“You’re just gonna go say sorry for freaking out. It’ll be fine.” He wasn’t expecting to find Eddie on a roof, about to jump. “Uh, am I interrupting something?” Wade asked, a startled Eddie almost falling off the edge.

“No!” Eddie tried, stepping off the edge and back onto the roof. “Just enjoying the…view. Why are you here? To run away again?” 

“That would make literally zero sense.” Wade informed him. “I came looking for you, and here you are being all suicidal.”

“I’m not suicidal.” Eddie spat, crossing his arms.

“Yeah…Okay.” Wade raised his eyebrows. “You wanna uh, talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about, okay?” Eddie turned away from Deadpool.

“If you’re sure…?” Wade tried, moving closer. “I don’t want to talk to you.” Eddie informed him. “You left me in an alleyway.”

“Well I’m not leaving you here,” Wade told him. “Seriously. I’m not letting you kill yourself.” Eddie let out a wry laugh.

“Why not? It’s not like it matters.”

“It matters to me.” Wade insisted, starting forward as Eddie made for the edge again. “Eddie, don’t. Don’t do it.”

“Don’t stop me.”

His body hit the ground with a sickening crack. Gross. Then Wade was jumping too, and everything went black. Eddie wasn’t dead. He was definitely unconscious, that awkward state between being alive and not. His body hadn’t quite decided yet. Eddie’s right hand twitched, Venom’s anxious mutterings blocking out the noise of the city around him. Or…them. Because fuck, of course Deadpool had jumped after him. Wasn’t that noble. Fucker.

**“Is nice of him to care, Eddie.”** Venom reminded him, a strange crack coming from the body near them. Out of time. Eddie grimaced as Venom quickly knit his bones back together, fleeing before Deadpool could regain consciousness. 

Wade woke up to an empty bed. Or an empty alleyway if you wanted to get technical. Eddie’s body was gone. Which…good sign? Bad sign? Seeing as they’d first met rubbing elbows with Death, it seemed like Mr. Eddie Brock was about as immortal as they come. That was enough to make him fascinating. It was also enough to piss Wade off.
    
    
      
        DP: u jump n run? rude.
      
    

Eddie left him on read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes it’s short but fuck was that one liner great


	4. Personal Purgatories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another visit and a surprise meeting ;)

Eddie waited a few days to see Mary. He didn’t want to run into some Good Samaritan again. Fucking hell. What kind of world was it where Deadpool counted as a Good Samaritan? He found himself a good sized building, a bit higher than the last, and closed his eyes as he jumped.  
He was freezing when he finally opened them. Death was glaring at him. Or he guessed that she was. Skulls were hard to read.

“Eddie Brock.”

“Hi.” Eddie offered, having the decency to look a little guilty.

“You’re here for your sister again.” It wasn’t a question. Eddie sheepishly nodded, offering Death a smile as she waved her arm, bringing a room closer. Mary lay inside, reading a book.

“Hi Mary.” She looked up at the sound of his voice, beaming.

“Eddie! You’re back.”

“I missed you.” He murmured, pressing his hand against the milky barrier. Mary got up to do the same.

“Me too.” She admitted. “It’s not so bad here, though.” Eddie swallowed as tears formed in the back of his eyes.

“I’m so sorry Mary.”

“Hey. It’s not your fault.” She insisted, putting her other hand up against the barrier. “There’s nothing you could’ve done.” Eddie opened his mouth to protest, but Mary had already started fading. He glanced back at Death to complain, instead being startled by the guy from before. The scarred guy. 

“I love you.” He rushed, Mary gone before she could say the same. Eddie scowled at the other guy, who this time, scowled back.

“Do you have nothing better to do than interrupt me?” He asked, more pissed off than he probably had any right to be.

“This isn’t your own personal purgatory.” The other man spit back. Eddie flushed at that.

“I never said it was. I just didn’t realized I needed to start scheduling visiting hours.”

“Boo fucking hoo.” The scarred man snapped, turning away from Eddie.

“Is this like a thing for people with scars? Always trying to hide them? Just fucking look at me.”

“I don’t want to.” The other man spat back. “I didn’t exactly ask to end up here with you. You’re not the only fucking person who’s lost someone.”

“Wade Wilson. Eddie Brock.” Death announced, gliding towards them. “I’m afraid you’re interrupting _my_ personal purgatory.”

“Sorry.” They both mumbled at the same time. Death frowned at them both.

“Don’t return until you can behave. Both of you.” She raised her hands, Eddie waking up with a jolt. His body hadn’t finished healing yet, Venom fussing as he sped up the process.

**“Hungry, Eddie.”**

“Are there anymore rats around?” Eddie groaned, his head still killing him.

**“Ate them all.”** Venom complained, freezing as a man was thrown down the alleyway. Deadpool followed after, his suit torn and bloodied. He crushed the mans head against the wall before realizing he had company, both Eddie and Venom staring him down. Deadpool gaped at them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love a good cliffhanger.


	5. Caught Red-Handed

“Hi.” Eddie choked. He got another glance at the guys brains, nausea bubbling inside of him.  
Venom, on the other hand, was eagerly inching towards the body.  
Deadpool didn’t stop Venom from tearing the corpse limb by limb. He didn’t flinch like Eddie did when blood splattered. It was like he didn’t even fucking blink.

“So,” Deadpool started, seating himself on the grimy asphalt. “You didn’t mention this in your Tinder bio.” Eddie flipped him off. Deadpool innocently raised his hands, mask going wide in exaggerated shock.

“Gasp, my hot date has an alien! Whatever will I do?”

“This isn’t a date.” Eddie grumbled, face pale from nausea and fucking dying.

“Sorry, my failed date has a hot alien. Whatever will I do?” Deadpool corrected, earning himself an unimpressed grunt.

“Fuck off and leave us alone?” Eddie offered.  
  
“Nope! This is way more fun than whatever I had planned today. Need some crime scene help? Oh who am I kidding, I’ve never cleaned up after. Killing! I don’t clean up after killing. If I top though, I clean up, them’s the rules.”  
  
“Killing…top?” Eddie stared at Deadpool in complete confusion.  
  
“Oh sweet baby, was this your first? Are you new to all this?”  
  
“I’ve been with guys before.” Eddie spat, meeting the challenge.  
  
“I meant eating a dead person. Killing. Being an accessory to murder.”  
  
“Oh.” Eddie’s face turned red. “Uh. No, actually. It’s not new. Venom gets…hungry.”  
Deadpool’s eyes widened.  
  
“Oh man, is this what you guys always eat?! I could’ve been disposing of bodies with you the whole time?”  
  
“No! We try to keep a low profile.” Eddie muttered, getting to his feet.

“How’s that working out?”  
  
“Until now? Pretty good.”

Deadpool laughed, jumping up to look Eddie in the eye.  
  
“Seriously though, we’d make a good team.” He wheedled. “Me, you, the big guy.” Deadpool gyrated his hips. “Keep everyone happy and…fed. The money doesn’t hurt either.”

“You can keep the money.” Eddie told him, clenching his jaw. “I don’t want it.”  
  
“Oh, the noble type!” Deadpool teased, pressing a hand to his heart. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about your dietary preferences.”  
Eddie raised an eyebrow as Venom cleaned himself off.

“Wow, you know some big words. Had me worried for a second.”

“Ouch.” Deadpool mimicked a shot to the heart. “So, you live around here? Just so I know where to start dropping off corpses.”  
  
“Oh of course that’s why.” Eddie rolled his eyes. “You can leave them on top of that abandoned warehouse a couple blocks from here.”

“Works for me.” He winked, the mask doing the same. “See you around, Eddie, Venom.”

Stupid. Fucking. Deadpool. That was the only thought Eddie had as he made his way back to his apartment. Venom kept an eye out for brightly-costumed freaks and luckily, the universe was on their side. For once.  
  
“You better not complain about being hungry,” Eddie huffed, trying not to look completely fucking insane. “Not for at least a week.”  
  
**“Not fair.”** Venom informed him, Eddie taking a second to compose himself. **“Get hungry.”**

“You can eat rats, okay? Rats are great snacks.”

**“Fine.”** Venom agreed, settling into a sullen silence.

“Thank you.” Eddie whispered, sending a little gush of thanks through their body. He could feel Venom trying not to preen. Eddie unlocked the doors to his apartment building, quickly shuffling up the stairs and into his unit.  
He couldn’t catch a fucking break, could he? Eddie’s phone dinged. He reluctantly pulled it out of his pocket, groaning when he saw who the message was from.
    
    
      
         DP: how do u want the next 1? ;) ;)
      

Venom kindly pretended not to notice Eddie’s heart rate jump.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eddie’s gonna have to make some decisions right about now.


End file.
